At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
