you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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