She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize