She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
