Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When are your genitals available?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize