what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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