i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
