were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
