why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
