good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
