It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
