Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
