thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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