Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
