I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
