Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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