I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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