have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
