There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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