I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
