terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
