I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
