**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
