Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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