Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize