I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize