OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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