you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
