I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
