I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
