So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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