I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
