Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
