YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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