We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
