Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
