About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
