I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
