No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
