you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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