Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
