this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
wow bdsm is so cute
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
