6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
