you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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