I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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