think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize