Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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