if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
