I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
