ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
