I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
