remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
