he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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