I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
