butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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