The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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