didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
