You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize