do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
