Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
